Showing my Ass-p

Today is my last day here in the Chief's office. I'm sad, yet excited. There are some aspects of this position that I am going to miss deeply, but I am so looking forward to the change and excitement of the street. This is the first time in a long time that I have embraced change in a full bear-hug.

Before I hit the street, there are/were certain things I needed to do for my own safety, as well as that of my fellow police officers. They included ASP training, and OC training. To be able to carry both of these items on my duty belt, I needed to be certified in their use. Officer Jimmy Inlow is a Defensive Tactics instructor, as well as firearms, so I turned to him for his expertise. (As well as his physique, but that could only be a distraction.) He has been working with me on firearms almost since the day they said I could pursue this. And he has said he will continue to do so.

On Tuesday, we started with the ASP. Doesn't sound like a big deal, but I had to hit the bag repeatedly. And you have to bang the thing on the floor to close it. All that took it's toll on my thighs and arms. I was fine until I got home on Tuesday night, but after I went to sleep and relaxed, I got really stiff and sore. I could hardly sit on the toilet. But now I can carry the baton.

In order to carry Oleresin Capsicum (OC), AKA pepper spray, the state of Georgia says you have to get sprayed with it so you know how it feels. Sounds easy enough, right? That S@#$ burns!!! I was fortunate that I didn't take a direct hit to the eyeballs or anything, but it burned the CARP out of my face. After he sprayed me, Jimmy made me hit him and cuff him. That would have been a really good thing if I wasn't in pain and blinded. After I got him cuffed, I stood there with the water hose on my face for at least 45 minutes. I cussed Jimmy out. I NEVER use my middle finger to gesture, but one butt did get that for coming out there and saying, "Ha ha!" When I got to where my eyes weren't burning when I held them open, and my face wasn't going to fall off if I took away the cool water, I sloshed my way into the squad room. I was soaking wet, from head to toe! I ran into the closet and got an evidence bag, filled it with ice from the freezer, and held that to my face for a while. Meanwhile, I was freezing. It was a GORGEOUS spring day yesterday, but after getting soaked, and standing in the shade because I was on fire, I was shivering.

I had the forethought to bring a change of clothes. I even had a fresh bra. I put on the shirt I had worn to work that day and my pilates pants. But I had forgotten to bring clean, dry panties. No problem, I can go commando in those comfy pants, right? So I changed and stood around the squad room and chatted for about 30 minutes. I had left my dry shoes in the car, so I was going to run out to the car and get my shoes then head home. I was headed out the door, and thank God Nicole looked up at me to ask if I wanted her to go get them. She noticed a hole in seat of my pants. RIGHT on my butt crack! Thank goodness the shirt was kinda long, and I had a raincoat in my office. So I put my shoes on and took my bared butt to the house.

On my way home, I stopped at Walgreen's to see what they had to take the burn out. At this point, my hands were burning, but my face had settled down. I found some aloe gel with lidocaine. I have decided that I will put that in my patrol car with the stash of tampons. You know, for just in case.

Everyone warned me that when I washed my hair, the water would reactivate the oils in the OC. But I didn't experience that. My face is red today, and my skin is irritated, but otherwise, the worst is over. I feel like I've been hit by a truck with all the sore muscles. But I'm going to do water aerobics this evening, and sit in the hot tub at the gym. Hopefully, I'll be somewhat back to normal by three o'clock tomorrow afternoon, when I report for duty!